Helping Your Child Cope with Anxiety

By now your child should be comfortable with a weekly morning routine. However, some children may be experiencing anxiety about going to school which turns into a daunting challenge every morning; a task that quickly makes parents lose their patience quickly. It hurts to watch your child struggle with stressful situations that you don’t deem to be scary. Here are five anxiety easing tips and tricks that parents of anxious children should try:

1. Don’t Reassure Your Child
   No matter how much you try to comfort your child, it’s no use. Their brain won’t let it happen. During moments of high anxiety, there is a rapid pump of chemicals and mental transitions that occur in the body for survival, fight or flight. Because the logical part of the brain is not fully developed in a child, the emotional part takes over, making it difficult for your child to think clearly. Instead of rationalizing the worry away, try this method from GoZen called the “Feel Method.”

• Freeze- Pause and take a couple of deep breaths with your child. Many studies have shown that deep breathing can help reverse the nervous system response.
• Empathize- Let your child know that you understand what he/she is going through.
• Evaluate- Once your child has calmed down, take a moment to brainstorm possible solutions.
• Let Go- Let go of your worry and give your child needed to manage their problem.

2. Acknowledge Worry
   As you may already know, ignoring anxiety doesn’t alleviate the feeling. The best way to deal with is by teaching your child early on that talking about it is ok. Talking about it helps tackle the issue head-on can help you both lead to the root of the cause.

3. What If vs. What Is
   A study conducted by Wake Baptist Medical Center showed that bringing yourself back into the present and away from the “what if” helps alleviate anxiety. Most fear comes from the unknown, thus the cause of what if this happens and what if that happens. You can practice mindfulness by helping your child focus on breathing exercises to help keep them in the what is.

4. Don’t Avoid Everything
   It’s natural instinct to want to avoid your problems. It is no different for your child. But it’s not healthy. If the cause of the anxiety is too strong to conquer head on, break it down into manageable pieces. Create small goals that lead to the larger goal of overcoming a particular issue.

5. Help Them Work Through a Checklist
   Create a list with a step by step method to calm down. The list is something that your child can take with them when you’re not around. Make sure that the steps are the same ones that you do together and in the same order.

Watching your child suffer from anxiety is painful and frustrating, so it is important to remember that you did not cause your child’s anxiety. However, you can help them overcome it.